how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
