so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
