So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
