i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
