I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
