Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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