1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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