Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
