I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
he wants to bone in the snuggie
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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