I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
they're like a gay fantastic four
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
