It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
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