So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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