Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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