he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
