I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
We had sex on a dog bed..
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
