i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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