were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
