why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
