The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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