Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
