if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
