Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
