can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
