"it" just moved
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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