Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
her vagine was all disorganized.
handjob tips. give me some.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize