Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
