I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
