Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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