Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
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