Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
