OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
