Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
