hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize