your thong is hanging out like whoa
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
