No awkward lesbian experiences without me
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
