did you get engaged???
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
