it was like his penis was on wheels.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
