I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
You're breaking my sexual little heart
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
