12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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