you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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