Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
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