he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
