great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
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