even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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