i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
