Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
