Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
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