That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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