Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize