Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize