Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
