Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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