I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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