I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
