Ambien. No doubt about it.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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