You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
