i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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