There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
