Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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